STEVE MARTIN: One Down, 11 to Go?

Steve Martin has just accomplished a major life goal -- he's finally become a dad at age 67.

According to the New York Post, he and his 41-year-old wife, Anne Stringfield, welcomed a baby in December. They've been keeping a lid on things ever since, but a source says, "“Steve’s very private... They are thrilled. They worked hard to have the baby.”

No word on a name or sex.

NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE QUIZ

The average American spends about two percent of his or her income on this. What is it?
ANSWER: Charity. People who make less than $20,000 per year donate twice as much, percentage-wise, as those making more than $75,000.

LINDSAY LOHAN: Lawyer Can't Control Her

You can't control Lindsay Lohan, and apparently you can't even hope to contain her. One of her lawyers, Julia Azrael, says she can't even track Lindsay down for a deposition.

Lindsay is being sued by a paparazzo who claims that her assistant drove into him while they were leaving a club in 2010. He's suing, but La Lohan has yet to sit down for a deposition. And now Azrael is asking a judge not to blame her for the disappearing act. The photog is asking the judge to fine both Lindsay and Azrael.

Azrael writes, ""I have made many efforts to convince Lohan to appear for her deposition. I do not know how to reach her directly." In fact, the only way she has of getting a message through is via Lindsay's other lawyer, Mark Heller.

Source: TMZ

INTERNET FIND

In Hollywood, some celebrities are able to claw their way to the top. It's especially easy for these celebrities, who have actual claws. Check them out at Crabify.tumblr.com.

ELISHA CUTHBERT: Hottest on the Boob Tube

Who's the hottest woman on television? According to Maxim magazine, it's Happy Endings star Elisha Cuthbert.

Elisha, who graces the cover of the March issue, calls the honor "very flattering... To think that one person could be the most beautiful when there's Kaley Cuoco, Sofia Vergara, Zooey Deschanel? They're all stunning."

JOSH GROBAN: Echoing From the Top of the Mountain

Josh Groban can shout it from the mountaintop -- his All That Echoes is the nation's number-one album. It sold 145,000 copies in its first week out, according to the latest SoundScan figures.

Now That's What I Call Music, Volume 45 debuts at number-three on sales of 86,000. Bruno Mars's Unorthodox Jukebox is at number-eight, and The Lumineers -- who'll probably get a pretty good Grammy bump next week -- round out the Top 10 with their self-titled debut.

ADELE: Not Upset With Chris Brown

Adele says she's not yelling at Chris Brown at the Grammys in the photo that became a viral sensation this week. 

In the pic, it looks like Adele was displeased with Brown for not standing when Frank Ocean beat him to win Best Urban Contemporary Album. But she tweets, "Chris Brown and I were complimenting each other in that photo, actually!"

Adele seems to be telling the truth, as the photographer from Getty Images also got shots of the two posing together and smiling.

WEIRD NEWS: Getting an Earful

A Connecticut man is trouble after going all Mike Tyson on his cousin.

Police say 27-year-old Emilio Mendoza got angry when his cousin, 29-year-old Ruiz Clemente-Perez, asked him to turn down his music. He allegedly attacked him, bit off a chunk of his ear and swallowed his earlobe. He also broke his cousin's nose and his eye socket.

Mendoza was arrested and charged with assault. (Huffington Post)

WEIRD NEWS: Heart Attack Grill Claims Another Life

Naturally this comes as no surprise, but the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas has claimed the life of yet another frequent visitor.

52-year-old John Alleman, a daily visitor to the restaurant famous for serving up its cardiac cuisine of giant burgers and things fried in lard, suffered (you guessed it) a heart attack last week standing outside the restaurant. He died on Monday.

Alleman was well known at the restaurant and was even considered an "unofficial mascot." He's not the first frequent diner to die. Two years ago another "unofficial mascot" dropped dead. And last year, a man suffered a heart attack while eating a Triple Bypass Burger, but, luckily, he survived. (Huffington Post)

VALENTINE'S DAY: The Couple That Works Out Together Stays Together

Looking for a workout buddy to help you stay on point with your fitness goals? Sweat it out with your sweetheart!

Marriage and relationship psychotherapist Dr. Jane Greer claims the couple that works out together, stays together. She says, “The actual exercise itself can physically and emotionally have a positive impact. Both partners come away with feelings of synchronicity, cooperative spirit and shared passion.”

Plus there’s the added benefits of less stress, better sleep and a sharper brain, which all help you as you navigate the years together. Regular exercise can also lead to better times in the sack, too! (Huffington Post)

SUGAR RAY: We Love the '90s!

Sugar Ray frontman Mark McGrath not only has a '90s cruise on tap this year, he's got another '90s tour on tap this summer. McGrath, who launched the Summerland tour with Everclear frontman Art Alexakis last summer, is starting another festival called Under the Sun. Joining Sugar Ray on the tour will be Gin Blossoms, Vertical Horizon, Smash Mouth and Fastball.

McGrath tells Rolling Stone that he'll never tire of singing the bands hits. He explains, "'Fly' came on the radio the other day and it felt like the first time. All I ever wanted and all I ever dreamed was having a song on the radio and having people respond to it. People are still responding to those songs, though not on the same level. I mean, people have tried to kick us out and say, 'No, we don't want any more Sugar Ray.' But I don't [care]. We're still gonna play and I love doing it."

KANYE AND KIM : Security Snafu at JFK

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian were at the center of a security mess at New York's JFK airport yesterday (Tuesday).

According to TMZ, the couple flew from Brazil to JFK yesterday, where they planned to catch a connecting flight to Los Angeles. Once they landed at the airport, an airline greeter met them and, in an effort to help them catch their connecting flight, allowed them to skip several security checkpoints. 

Once officials released the mistake, they pulled Kim and 'Ye off their plane and forced them to go through a TSA search. The plane was apparently delayed close to an hour while the search took place. 

Airport officials insist the snafu wasn't KimYe's fault, saying, "An airline employee escorted the two travelers through a non-public area in order to provide expedited access to their domestic flight. In doing so, the airline employee violated security protocols by permitting the travelers to by-pass the TSA security checkpoint. TSA officials learned of the violation and conducted a private screening of the two passengers in the area of the jetway."

The Angles:

• You know the other people on that plane were hot. 
• Should celebs get preferential treatment at the airport? Or do they need to wait in line like everyone else?
• Kinda surprised that they even fly commercial anymore.

KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS: Ladies Lead Nominees

Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart lead the nominees for this year's Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.

Taylor, who has three nods, will go up against ex-boyfriend Harry Styles in the Favorite Song category -- Taylor for "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" and Harry for One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful." J-Law and K-Stew duke it out for both Favorite Movie Actress and Favorite Female Buttkicker.

Other nominees include Adele, Justin Bieber, Bon Jovi, Miranda Cosgrove, Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Junior, Selena Gomez and Anne Hathaway.

Starting tomorrow (Thursday), kids can cast votes in 22 categories on Nick.com. Josh Duhamel hosts the show, which will air March 23rd.

Here are top categories:

TELEVISION:

Favorite TV show

• Good Luck Charlie
• iCarly
• Victorious
• Wizards of Waverly Place

Favorite reality show

• America's Got Talent
• American Idol
• The Voice
• Wipeout

Favorite TV actor

• Jake T. Austin (Wizards of Waverly Place)
• Lucas Cruikshank (Marvin Marvin)
• Ross Lynch (Austin & Ally)
• Carlos Pena (Big Time Rush)

Favorite TV actress

• Miranda Cosgrove (iCarly)
• Selena Gomez (Wizards of Waverly Place)
• Victoria Justice (Victorious)
• Bridgit Mendler (Good Luck Charlie)

FILM:

Favorite movie

• The Amazing Spider-Man
• The Avengers
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
• The Hunger Games

Favorite movie actor

• Johnny Depp (Dark Shadows)
• Andrew Garfield (The Amazing Spider-Man)
• Zachary Gordon (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days)
• Will Smith (Men in Black 3)

Favorite movie actress

• Vanessa Hudgens (Journey 2: The Mysterious Island)
• Scarlett Johansson (The Avengers)
• Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games)
• Kristen Stewart (The Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn: Part 2)

Favorite voice from an animated movie

• Chris Rock (Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted)
• Adam Sandler (Hotel Transylvania)
• Ben Stiller (Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted)
• Taylor Swift (The Lorax)

Favorite male buttkicker

• Robert Downey Junior (The Avengers)
• Andrew Garfield (The Amazing Spider-Man)
• Chris Hemsworth (The Avengers)
• Dwayne Johnson (Journey 2: The Mysterious Island)

Favorite female buttkicker

• Anne Hathaway (The Dark Knight Rises)
• Scarlett Johansson (The Avengers)
• Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games)
• Kristen Stewart (Snow White and the Huntsman)

MUSIC:

Favorite music group

• Big Time Rush
• Bon Jovi
• Maroon 5
• One Direction

Favorite male singer

• Justin Bieber
• Bruno Mars
• Blake Shelton
• Usher

Favorite female singer

• Adele
• Katy Perry
• Pink
• Taylor Swift

Favorite song

• "Call Me Maybe" (Carly Rae Jepsen)
• "Gangnam Style" (PSY)
• "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" (Taylor Swift)
• "What Makes You Beautiful" (One Direction)

VALENTINE'S DAY: Chick Flicks Dish Out Bad Love Advice

When it comes to dishing bad love advice, rom-coms and romantic dramas are guilty as charged. Here are a few love lessons to unlearn from some of Hollywood’s most popular chick flicks:

• Jerry Maguire: The whole “You complete me” line is bogus. Relationship experts claim pop culture’s messages about soul mates, destiny and happy endings are nothing like real-life relationships.
   
• Sleeping Beauty: Listen up, ladies. Move past the “Save me, my handsome prince” mentality. Be more like Merida from Brave.
   
• Love Story: The line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is just as bogus. Love is all about having to apologize because compromise is key to any relationship.
   
• How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days: Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey play games to try and not fall in love, but do anyway. Relationships don’t magically fix themselves and work out.
   
• Sleepless In Seattle and You’ve Got Mail: Stranger danger is real, but not in rom-coms.
   
• Grease, Bridget Jones and She’s All That: Makeover movies. Changing appearances is not the successful way to land a relationship. But being yourself is! (Huffington Post)

Phone Topics:

• What movie is most like your love life?

WEIRD NEWS: Nothing Will Stop My Round!

A pro golfer was once bitten but anything but shy when she continued her golf round ... after taking a shot from a black widow spider.

Daniela Holmqvist was on the fourth hole in a pre-qualifier for the Women's Australian Open when she felt a sharp pain in her ankle. Holmqvist swatted the spider away and then nearly fell over in pain.

As Holmqvist's leg started to swell and the pain became intense she made the decision to take matters into her own hands. She pulled a tee out of her pocket and used it to cut open the wound so she could squeeze out the venom and keep it from spreading inside her body. Holmqvist then finished the round with a 74 (not enough to qualify, unfortunately) while medics looked on. (Deadspin)

WEIRD NEWS: Man Gets Meth-Stuffed Teddy Bear for Valentine's Day

Nothing says “I Love You” like a box of chocolates and a teddy bear … unless that particular teddy bear is stuffed with meth and leads to your arrest.

That’s what happened to Boston’s Lawrence Ligocki, who received a Valentine’s Day package containing a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a teddy bear stuffed with $10,000 worth of crystal meth. Authorities first suspected the drug violation last week when postal inspectors discovered the suspicious packaged addressed to Lawrence.

When officials arrived at Lawrence’s house, he said he was expecting the package, but quickly changed his tune when they issued a warrant to search his house for drugs. Investigators found an additional jar of meth, and Lawrence was charged with drug possession and trafficking. He was freed on $150 bail after pleading not guilty. (Huffington Post)

WEIRD NEWS: Dancer Loses Thumb at Club

A Pennsylvania woman alleges her thumb was severed by an aerial apparatus while she was rehearsing for a competition at a New Jersey strip club.

Sarah Berry, 35, of Philadelphia filed a lawsuit against Delilah’s Den in Sayreville, alleging her thumb was severed while she was practicing with a “half moon aerial apparatus” in preparation for the ninth annual Delilah’s Diamond G-String Competition.

James Golkow, Berry’s attorney, said the club failed to ensure the apparatus was properly designed, built, inspected and tested before letting contest participants use it. Berry is seeking $50,000 for “pain and suffering, disfigurement, humiliation and embarrassment.” (UPI)

VALENTINE’S DAY: Are You Spending Valentine’s Day With the Kids?

For young couples, Valentine’s Day can be romantic, fancy and special.

But as couples get older – and especially if they have kids – escaping the house and enjoying a quiet night alone can be difficult.

VALENTINE’S DAY: Single-Friendly Restaurants on Valentine's Day

If you’re single, there are two ways you can look at Valentine’s Day.

If you’re a glass-half-empty sort of person, you can bury your head in a pillow and cry about being alone.

But if you’re an optimist, Valentine’s Day can be fun – even if you go out to eat.

That’s right. It’s not a crime to going out to eat alone.

Some restaurants are even catering to single diners by setting up communal dining tables, where you can meet new friends, and by offering smaller portion sizes of the best stuff on the menu.

So, hold your head up high, get dressed and grab yourself some gourmet grub. You’re worth it. (Today)

DEMI LOVATO: Premiering New Album's Lead Single in March

Demi Lovato will premiere "Heart Attack," the first single from her still-untitled upcoming album, on March 4th. Lovato has already posted a half-minute teaser video for the song and album on her website. In it, she says, "I think I've opened up more on this album... These are songs about the celebration of life and how rewarding it can be." The clip ends with a couple of seconds of music from "Heart Attack."

ROB THOMAS, JASON MRAZ, SARA BAREILLES: Guest on A Cappella Group's Album

Rob Thomas, Jason Mraz and Sara Bareilles are among the guest stars on Under the Influence, the upcoming album by the a cappella group Straight No Chaser. Bareilles's track, a cover of the early Jackson 5 hit "I Want You Back," is the first single. A lyric video for the song is streaming at Billboard.com. Other artists on the album, which comes out May 7th, include Phil Collins, Seal and Dolly Parton.

VALENTINE'S DAY: Lawyer Offers Free Valentine’s Day Divorce

And in romantic Valentine's Day news ... Michigan lawyer Walter H. Bentley III is running a contest on his law firm's website entitling one lucky man or woman to a free divorce as a Valentine's Day gift.

The winner will be determined by how compelling and how desperately the applicant needs and deserves the free legal work. Basically, the more depressing and dire your circumstances, the better your chances. 500 people have applied so far. Cupid is seriously crying in Michigan this Valentine's Day. (Newser)

WILL FERRELL: Tosses Shaq From Staples Center

Will Ferrell provided some laughs at Tuesday night's Lakers game at the Staples Center.

For some reason, the comedian dressed as an usher and was caught on camera patrolling courtside. At one point, he interrupted Shaquille O'Neal’s viewing of the game between the Lakers and the Suns to eject the NBA legend. The pair, then, exited the game with Shaq pretending to be handcuffed.

SOURCE: NY Daily News

SCHOOL DAZE: Graduate Student Suing Lehigh University for Getting a C+!

In a world of frivolous lawsuits, this one just might take the cake. Megan Elizabeth Thode is suing Lehigh University for getting a C+ in one of her classes, which she claims prevented her from getting a job.

Get this – she wants $1.3 million for what she claims are lost wages because of the grade! She should be thanking the University for even letting her attend considering she didn't pay a dime in tuition because her dad is a professor there. Anyway, Megan needed a B in her fieldwork course to graduate with a masters in counseling, and has made several claims against her Professor as to why she received a C+, including being discriminated against because she was a proponent of gay rights on campus.

In response her professor cited that it was her class participation which resulted in the low mark, and that as a campus counselor for the University's LGBT students, her claims were unfounded. As a last ditch effort, Megan changed her story and suddenly blamed the program director for purposely giving her a grade lower than a B because of complaints she made regarding the class requirements. (TheFrisky)

ED SHEERAN: B'day Show is Biggest Headlining U.S. Gig to Date    

Ed Sheeran will celebrate his 22nd birthday on Sunday by playing his biggest U.S. headlining gig to date. The show, at the 23-hundred capacity Club Nokia at L.A. Live, is already sold out, according to Sheeran.

We caught up with the British singer before Sunday's Grammy Awards, where he and Elton John teamed up on his hit "The A-Team," and he joked that the birthday show will be done in costume. "If you're coming you have to dress up. I'm going to be a pirate, so don't come as a pirate."

BEYONCE: Ready to Dream

Beyoncé says she's ready for people who to "see who I am" with her new documentary Life Is but a Dream.

Bey was at New York's Ziegfeld Theater for the premiere last night (Tuesday). She said she'd been filming for three years -- right up until Blue Ivy was born. She tells the New York Post, “Once I saw my daughter, I knew that the end to this story, this documentary, was here and I was ready to tell the story.

Oprah Winfrey adds that she caught a sneak preview of the film with a group of students at her Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. She says, “They said, ‘Mama O., she’s just like us. And I said, ‘Meh, kind of, kind of not. Let’s not forget she is Beyoncé.” 

Life Is but a Dream, which Beyonce directed, produced and stars in, debuts on HBO on Saturday night.

BIRTHDAY SHOUT-OUTS

Celebs with birthdays today:  Drew Bledsoe, Zach Galligan, Meg Tilly, Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling, Ray Teller

#HappyBirthday to Florence Henderson. The former Mrs. Brady turns 79 today.