BONUS VIDEO

Who says cats can't play ping-pong?

WEIRD NEWS: Deck the Halls With ... Ecccch

A Chicago man couldn't bottle up his emotions, or some of his more physical outpourings last weekend when he waded into a bar fight to stab a stranger with a broken bottle, then decorated the police station he was hauled to with his own feces.

Greg Greaves leapt out of a bathroom stall at a tavern and began to slash the other man with a the business end of a beer bottle, opening gashes on  his face, neck and upper body. Another patron got involved, subduing Greaves until cops could arrive and take the man to the police station where he had another, shall we say, "outburst."

While being booked, the 20-something drunk defecated into his hands and began decking the halls in perhaps the least delightful way possible. He's being held on $500,000 bail. (Chicago Tribune)

WEIRD NEWS: A Meow-Seum Piece!

Every "litter" bit helps in the craft of a Big Apple-based artist who uses an all-natural and mostly-gross medium to ensure that they're purr-fect: She packs her paintings with cat poop!

The avant-garde artist, who goes by the name of Siobhan Meow, shares a small apartment with 20 furry friends who are always pitching in on her paintings, which sell for upwards of $1500 a pop.

She recalls the first cat poop painting, saying, "I put a canvas down where [one of my cats] was going outside of the litter box, and he took to it, and started pooping and peeing on different parts of it. I threw some cat hair that I had swept up off the floor on it, and he pushed that around into different patterns."

She's just a whisker a way from becoming the next Picass-Meow. (Huffington Post)

WEIRD NEWS: Arm Robbery

A Baltimore-area family nearly had to take arms up against a vandal so intent on damaging the Christmas display in their yard that he sneaked in and stole the arms off their snowman – leaving the rest of Frosty completely intact.

The Grinch in question was captured on surveillance video – which is even better than eyewitness testimony from Cyndi Lou Who – so he apparently decided to temper his naughty with some nice, and returned the appendages the next day, bagged up and ready to reattach.

We're sure the homeowners are hoping the crook will not be back again someday. (NBC Washington)

ANNE HATHAWAY: Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction at Les Mis Premiere

Anne Hathaway learned the hard way that it pays to wear underwear to a red-carpet event.

She opted to go commando at the Les Miserables premiere Monday night in New York City, and as she exited her car, she flashed her not-so-private parts. No surprise here -- the paparazzi caught it.

At the time, Anne didn't show any sign that she was aware of her wardrobe malfunction.

Source: Us magazine

LINDSAY LOHAN: Prosecutors "Out for Blood"

Lindsay Lohan could be spending the next eight months behind bars.

Prosecutors have filed papers asking the court to revoke Lindsay's probation when she's arraigned Wednesday for allegedly lying to cops and reckless driving in connection with her car accident last June. Sources tell TMZ that prosecutors are "out for blood."

If the judge decides Lindsay violated the terms of her probation it could mean 245 days in jail.

CHARLIE SHEEN: In the Giving Mood

Charlie Sheen has made another big gift -- this one to someone a little more deserving than Lindsay Lohan.

Charlie has written a check for $75,000 to help a young California girl get treatment for a rare form of cancer. The girl, a 10-year-old named Jasmine, is the daughter of a Hermosa Beach police officer. She's stricken with Childhood Rhabdomyosarcoma, which hits muscle tissue and requires years of radiation and chemotherapy.

What's more, Charlie's stunt double, Eddie Braun, has donated another $25,000.

According to TMZ, Charlie told Jasmine's father, "No parent should have to watch their kid go through that."

IAN McKELLEN: Prostate Cancer

Sir Ian McKellen has prostate cancer.

The 73-year-old star of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings tells London's Daily Mirror, "I’ve had prostate cancer for six or seven years. When you have got it, you monitor it and you have to be careful it doesn’t spread. But if it is contained in the prostate, it’s no big deal. Many, many men die from it but it’s one of the cancers that is totally treatable so I have ‘waitful watching.’"

The Hobbit opens nationally on Friday.

QUENTIN TARANTINO: Not Feeling Roots

Quentin Tarantino, whose slavery-themed action flick Django Unchained opens on Christmas Day, says he was never a fan of the legendary TV mini-series Roots. Tarantino tells The Daily Beast, “When you look at Roots, nothing about it rings true in the storytelling, and none of the performances ring true for me either. It didn’t move me because it claimed to be something it wasn’t.”

Django Unchained stars Jamie Foxx as a freed slave on a quest to free his enslaved wife (Kerry Washington), who was sold to a different plantation years earlier. 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE: Tops Ask Men List

Jennifer Lawrence is the most desirable woman in the world, according to Ask Men.

The Hunger Games star tops the magazine's annual Top 99 Women list. Mila Kunis came in second, followed by Kate Upton, Rihanna, Emma Stone, Miranda Kerr and Kristen Stewart.

First lady Michelle Obama made the list at number-33. Kim Kardashian was number-98. Last year she was number-8.

BROOKE MUELLER: In Rehab for the 19th Time

Brooke Mueller is hoping the 19th time's the charm when it comes to rehab.

Charlie Sheen's third ex-wife entered treatment Monday night for an addiction to Adderall. Last week she was reportedly hospitalized after overdosing on drugs.

According to TMZ, Brooke left her twins with Charlie's second ex-wife, Denise Richards, while she attempts to get clean again. Charlie is supposedly too busy shooting Anger Management to do it himself.

MILEY CYRUS: Devastated After Pooch Passes

Miley Cyrus says she's heart broken following the death of her two-year-old dog Lila.

Miley tweeted the news today (Tuesday), writing, "For everyone asking...I have never been so hurt in my life. My heart has never been so broken... Lila my sweet baby girl has passed away."

The star didn't give any details on the cause of death. The Yorkie was hospitalized in October for unknown causes. Miley has four other rescues with fiancé Liam Hemsworth: Ziggy, Floyd, Mary Jane and Happy.

SOURCE: People

MEGAN FOX: Giving Birth Was "Horrific"

Megan Fox says giving birth to her son Noah was harder than she expected.

She tells Access Hollywood, "I was screaming for an epidural when [hubby Brian Austin Green] was driving me to the hospital because my water broke on its own and...it was level orange alert pain."

Megan, who gave birth in September, adds, "It was so intense. And I thought I was gonna be really tough and make it...but the first contraction that I got was horrific!”

The pain was all worth it, though. The actress says, "It’s exhausting, but it’s amazing and you can’t, until you have kids, you can’t imagine how much you could possibly love a human being."

Celebs with birthdays today: Mayim Bialik, Jennifer Connelly, Marlon Jackson, Shelia E., Dionne Warwick, Bob Barker

TOP CELEBRITY TWEETS

Justice Scalia’s anti-gay comments top celebrity tweets.

• Andy Richter: "I like to look for the goodness in people, so I'm gonna presume that Justice Scalia isn't anti-gay, he's just pro-murder." Scalia defended his equating homosexuality with murder and bestiality in a Princeton University speech on Monday.
• Bill Maher: "Scalia -- see why I say you only get two choices in America, the Democrats and the representative of the Mental Patient Party."
• Jimmy Fallon: "An MIT professor said Windows 8 is a gift you should get for someone you hate. So you've got competition, Edible Arrangements."
• Dane Cook: "I have so much dirt on myself."
• Rainn Wilson: "I wonder if Kate Middleton has drawn a little crown in eyeliner on her stomach right over where the babies head is?"
• Ricky Gervais: "Homeland is the best show on TV at the moment. There. I said it."
• Lisa Lampanelli: "Lindsay Lohan struggling to pay own rent. Why doesn’t she borrow some money from her parents? After all, it’s HERS!"
• Jonah Hill: "Okay so I've decided I'm going to get married soon , I'm just not sure to who yet."

DALLAS: J.R. Ewing Will Die in the Upcoming Season

Ever since Larry Hagman's death, fans have wondered how the revival of Dallas will deal with his loss. We learned today (Tuesday) that the series, which begins its second season on TNT in January, will kill off the J.R. Ewing character -- but there are no details yet. The network says a funeral will be seen at some point, but wouldn't even say whether it's been shot yet.

Hagman had filmed several episodes for the upcoming cycle before his death on November 23rd.

BONUS VIDEO: Beaver Waves to Boy

A little boy becomes pals with a beaver at the zoo. If only they could schedule a play date!